06 Feel good when you use comparison to support your success
Hi, and welcome to Heart to Heart Sales™, the podcast, and it's for heart led business owners who want more sales, who want to learn how to sell in a way that really never, ever feels like selling because it's completely authentic and aligned with everything that they want for themselves and for their business.
So if you're a coach consultant, a service provider, a healer, if you speak with your clients before they say yes to what you do, then this podcast is for you. I am Becky Colwell and I'm sharing everything that I know and everything that I’ve learned. So that you too can build your service led business, gain more clients, increase your income and stay the wonderful, authentic, fabulous.
Today's episode is another throwback episode. And it's something that I recorded almost a year ago, it's so lovely looking back at where I was then and where I am now and how much further along I am and comparison really can really increase your enthusiasm and your levels of feeling abundant and successful when you use it in the right way. So I'm off to find my number seven and here's the episode.
There's a quote out there, isn’t there – “Comparison is the thief of joy”, and I was reflecting on this the other day, partly because I posted an affirmation on Instagram and somebody commented on how lovely my writing was, and I had a bit of reaction to that comment. And it really made me realize that I didn't feel good enough in that area. My mum has the most amazing handwriting. Yeah. The most amazing handwriting. Uh, it's glorious. Even her every day. Handwriting is better than many calligraphers. It's beautiful. And so my handwriting has never felt good enough in comparison.
And yet these written affirmations that I do on Instagram, I've had such lovely feedback. People have said, oh gosh, that's really lovely that you're doing that. And I've had such great feedback. And yet in the moment that I received a compliment about it, I went straight to feeling not good enough. That's just a real shame, isn't it? So. That made me reflect more on comparison and perhaps what we can do about it. And this is a tiny example of, uh, this situation. Funnily enough, I suspect now on reflection that they were commenting on the content of my writing, not my writing itself anyway, but it's so funny that my head just went straight to, I'm not good enough.
Well, it's not funny. It's sad, but you know what I mean? It just shows us where our little triggers are actually even small instances like this can, can teach us something about ourselves and teach us where maybe we still need to do a little bit of extra work on ourselves to bring our worthiness back up and to bring our strength into what we do. What I love is the fact that I'm posting these things. Even though I don't think my handwriting is good enough. And that's also a brilliant thing to reflect on and to remind myself of, so if you find yourself in that, that situation, just have a moment and try and reflect on how great it is. That number one, you are doing it anyway and that number two. It might be an area where you just need to lift yourself up a little bit more.
Yeah. Comparison in some ways can be a good thing. If you think about emulating somebody who is a number of steps or two steps ahead of you, you know, sometimes that emulation can be really useful. It can help drive you forwards. And as long as you're still being, you, you really, really wanna stay being you. That ation is really useful in helping to drive you forwards. When you are a little bit further behind and you are feeling just a little bit unsure about what you're doing. So emulation can be a good thing. Comparison though, if you're gonna compare yourself to the people who you believe are your peers.
I want you to do something for me. This is a really interesting exercise. I want you to write out the seven peers in order of the ones that you are comparing yourself with. Yeah. And then you can look at the one that's number seven in that list. Lean into how great you are against that number seven. Yeah. The person in top billing is going to be further along in their journey than you. The person who's number seven is likely to be in a similar place. And you can start to look at all the things that you've achieved, that they have too, all the things that you've achieved, that they maybe haven't achieved yet. And then you can reflect on the things that they've achieved that you haven't yet, but it allows a much better comparison. That seventh place, rather than comparing yourself to the one who's in top billing because they are flying right now, they've got a different skill set. They've learned some different things.
They've taken different action to you. They've maybe, um, built on knowledge that they already had and maybe find some stuff easier than you do. It's it's perfectly okay. To to understand that and just give yourself the grace that you are here now, and that you've done this thing. Yeah, you are doing it. And you are growing and you are building your business and you are rocking it just by being you. And that takes us to the next point, really on comparison, which is if you're gonna compare yourself to anybody, compare yourself to you, compare yourself to the, you. Of yesterday, the U of last week, the U of last month, the U this time last year.
Just think how far you've come since this time. Last year. Wow. I, well, I didn't have a business last year. Yeah. I've drawn on so many experiences to build this business and so much of my experience in the past, but I didn't have this business this time last year. I mean, that's an amazing reflection. So rather than beating myself up, celebrating the fact that I have a business that I've got clients that.
Mastered Instagram that I'm doing this podcast. That's just amazing. So please lean into all of the things that you have done in this last year and celebrate those things. Write them down. Please remember how far you've gone. This is such a ma an amazing achievement. So please lean into that. You've done brilliantly this last year.
Yeah. Whatever actions that you have taken, you have done more than you had done this time. Last year, reflect on that. And my word, if you think about the you three years ago or five years ago, for me, I am beyond. Absolutely beyond that person. I unbelievable. Really. I just cannot believe the changes that have taken place in, in my soul. In these last five years, reflect on your last five years, maybe to spend a moment journaling on what you've done, what you've achieved, how far you've come and keep comparing yourself with yourself. That's the best way forward, because you know that you are growing, you know, that you have a great business and that you have fantastic gifts to offer, and you can do this one step at a time.
So please no more comparisons unless it's with yourself, lean forwards, lean in, and you've got this. You've truly, truly got this. So let's do a quick recap on comparison. Use it to emulate and bring yourself forwards, make sure that you are comparing yourself with number seven on your list and in the main, compare yourself with yourself and you will rock this.
Okay. I can't wait to speak to you next time. If you like what you hear, I'd really love it. If you. Number one, subscribe to the podcast. That would be amazing, but actually also leave some sort of feedback. Um, seriously, those reviews really help others find me. And I'd love you to support me that way.
Thank you so much. Bye for now.
